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Venus
Vegas, part 2
“Pants on the ground…pants on the ground…” The last time that phrase repeated in my head this many times, I was waking up in Vegas looking for said pair pants. If I ever run for political office or in a Miss USA pageant, I can only pray that no one has visual evidence of that morning.
It was the beginning of the category five meltdown I mentioned last month and it was only a matter of time before I would be throwing things in my suitcase and fleeing the scene. The cause? I was in my suite with my boyfriend and Rainbow Bright.
This girl's hair resembled a three-year-old's painting, and somehow she had convinced us to let her and her pre-school art tag along with us on the trip. One problem: Skittles was supposed to be sleeping in her own room. Did she really think I was going to forget that agreement? I don't think so.
I'd had an “open” relationship before; this wasn’t my first rodeo, but it was definitely the first time I'd had this overwhelming sense of betrayal. I had accepted that “loyalty” does not always equal “monogamy” in the male mind, but was starting to realize that understanding it and to practice it are two different things. I had never felt this insecure before because I had never been put in such an uneasy situation before. My previous relationship had been the fantasy kind that Hugh Hefner is envied for.
I had never realized until now, why I had never felt insecure or jealous with my ex. He had treated me with a kind of respect that I had never even gotten from my so-called monogamous relationships. There was honesty between us that had constantly reassured me where his heart was, and he never ceased to make his loyalty to me known. My new guy, on the other hand, didn't even bother to ask me if something was wrong when he found me doing shots at the lobby bar at 8 a.m.
The fact that I wasted a weekend in Vegas with these people is almost as painful as the actual breakup that ensued, but it did show me some sides of the situation that I had never considered. Before you determine that you can handle a relationship like this, make sure you have experienced it in both positive and negative light.
In the end, whether your relationship is a monogamous one or not, it all comes down to having trust and proving loyalty. As for me, I'm not sure I'll ever go down that road again, but I'm not ruling it out. I'm certainly never again settling for a situation I'm uncomfortable in just to "be in a relationship." Mae West once said, "The amount of men in my life doesn't matter. It's the amount of life in my men that matters." I couldn't agree more. |
Mars
Dating Like a Pro
In my years of dating there are a few tips I have found that have helped me keep my heart and mind in tact.
I pass them along to you now in the hopes that they will help you from when you first start dating, to when it’s time to get out of a relationship, and how to keep your life moving when you’re not in one.
Tip One: Don’t limit your options
Years ago it may have been frowned upon to do this but today it is sort of expected that we don’t date one person. Not to say that you should be a “player” and date many different women at once, but with divorce rates higher than ever, you should date a different variety of people to let you really see what you like and don’t like in a partner.
By doing this you will really find out what you need and don’t need to make yourself happy and have a healthy lasting relationship.
Tip Two: Know when it’s time to say goodbye
If you are staying with someone because you think they will change, or because you’ve invested so much time, or your scared to be alone these are not good reasons. People don’t change because you want them to; they only change when they want to.
Being in a relationship with someone for a while doesn’t mean you have to make it work; maybe your time together is a learning experience to make you stronger for your next relationship.
Until you let it go, a bad relationship doesn’t seem all that bad, but once you start moving on you realize that happiness was missing from your life.
Try to understand yourself better and find what truly makes you happy.
Tip Three: Do not put your life on hold
Waiting to meet that special someone before making big life decisions can prove to be costly and leave you feeling trapped and hopeless. Take risks; start small by going alone to see that new movie you’ve be dying to see or plan that Alaskan cruise. Love will find you in some of the strangest and least expected places.
To Sum Up
Look around and see what the world of dating has to offer, don’t stick around in a bad relationship, don't be afriad to go solo and remember, live your life doing what makes you happy.
Have you already followed one of these tips? Do they work for you? Let me hear your thoughts Atlanta!
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